Episode 1

This is called Episode 1 because it is the earliest story Grandma or anyone else can find about her adventures. You see, Grandma loves her adventures zooming through the galaxy, but she has never been very interested in recording them. And even when she does sit down and record what happened during a trip, she often forgets to put in the earth date of the trip. So we don’t know if this is really her first adventure. Probably it isn’t. But it is the oldest one we know about, because it was all saved on Logan’s computer with a date. He saved it not because he believed a word of it, but because he thought it was a really funny way to talk about his birthday.

Hello, Logan! I’m on my way to the Argentile planetary system right now. Argentile is much bigger than our sun, and it has 24 planets orbiting it. I’m going to the sixteenth planet, Rentaslice, to look around. I know your birthday is coming soon, and I want to find something there to bring back for you. Tinkerbell is with me, of course, and she’s nervous, so I have to say good-bye and take care of her.

I’ll talk to you soon, and I’ll come see you with some new treasure for you on your birthday.

Logan, I just found the perfect gift for you. I wanted to make it a surprise, but I’m too excited to wait until your birthday. And anyway, I wanted to show it off a little and test it at the same time. So here goes….

Okay, see this gadget I’m wearing around my waist? It’s called a Transmorgrifier 3000. I got it at a terrific thrift store in downtown Burplethork here on Rentaslice. It’s an old model, and used, but I didn’t think you would mind.

Now here’s the news: This gadget can morph you into shapes! Here, let me zoom in on the controls so you can see how it works. See this dial? That’s where you tell it what kind of object you want to morph into – a plant, an animal, something inanimate, whatever. And these buttons control the size and color you’ll be.

Watch me try this out. I’ll morph into a green tiger the size of Tinkerbell. So, let’s see, I’ll turn the dial three notches this way, and punch the downsize button four or five times, then I’ll push this button here….

The sound of a Transmorgrifier3000 in downtown Burplethork

Can you see the little green tiger, Logan? That’s me! Hey, Tinkerbell, what do you think of Grandma now? Just your size! Tinkerbell? No, don’t bark and back away. It’s just me. Tinkerbell! Oh, Logan, I have to change back and take care of Tinkerbell. Let’s see, I turn this dial and push this – Tinkie, don’t run away, I’m trying to get back to normal – oh, bother! Logan, I have to go. I’ll show all this to you at home.

<End Transmission>

<Start Transmission Star Date 17:∆:6:19R>

Logan, I’m whispering because I’m in danger, and I only have your address with me since you were the last one I transmitted to. Last night – well, actually, there are two nights every day on this planet. But anyway, these Gabboris arrived here (but everyone calls them Grabbers) and they’ve been walking around – well, actually, they don’t walk; they sort of glide and hop.

What Gabboris (Grabbers) sound like when they talk to each other

But anyway, these Gabboris from the ninth planet – or is it the tenth planet? Okay, never mind all that. Gabboris love to eat little animals, and they sniff them out. Well, they sniffed out Tinkerbell, and we’ve been on the run ever since. You just can’t reason with Gabboris and explain that a little animal is a pet and not to be eaten. They just wouldn’t understand that. As far as they are concerned, they think I’m walking around with my dinner, but never eating it, so why shouldn’t they get it instead?

A popular Grabber hunting song

Anyway, we’re in this cave, hiding from those Grabbers. But the cave is full of some kind of gas swirling around. It might be poisonous, so we can’t stay here long.

The toxic cave

The trouble is, I can hear Grabbers sniffing around the opening of the cave. So here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to use the Transmorgrifier I got you to turn us into something they wouldn’t eat. Then we’ll make a dash for my spaceship. I want you to watch all this, in case it doesn’t work. Then you can tell the rest of the family why I’m not inviting everyone for Thanksgiving dinner this year.

Okay, here goes. Tinkerbell, come get in my arms. Now, let’s see. What can I make us into? How about a giant wolverine carrying a little table? Ha! It’s working! Now I can walk right past the Gabboris without any worry….

Little table, I mean Tinkerbell, stop fidgeting! Your table legs are getting on the controls! Omigosh, we’re morphing over and over, and the Gabboris are staring at us! I’m a snake, she’s a robin! I’m a lamp, she’s a mouse! I’m a tree, she’s a pork chop! They want to eat her! I’ve got to run! Can’t go to the spaceship…. Over there to that pile of rocks! Bye, Logan! I hope we make it…!

Transmorgrifier goes berserk and Grabbers attack!

<End Transmission>

<Start Transmission Star Date 17:∆:Z:14$>

Well, Logan, you can see we’re back on the spaceship, heading home. When we got to the rocks, I got Tinkerbell’s paw off the controls. Then I came up with a plan. Instead of turning us into something, I decided to turn a rock into something!

So I placed the Transmorgriphier on a rock and set the dials. Suddenly the rock turned into a Tinkerbell. The Gabboris swarmed all over it and ate half of it before they realized it was made of rock! At least that’s what I saw over my shoulder while I ran with the real Tinkerbell back to the spaceship.

Escape from the Grabbers!

So the bad news is that your birthday present got left behind on Rentaslice. But the good news is that you still have a grandma!

See you soon!

<End Transmission>

Safely back in the spaceship -- Roll the credits!